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User blog:LakuitaBro01.2/The Official Total Drama Video Games! Episode 1: Super Smashing the Pilot!
The Nintendo Building is shown. The camera pans in to a window where a Nintendo employee is messing around with a remote as Shigeru Miyamoto walks in. '' '' '' Shigeru Miyamoto: Hey, what do you think you’re doing with that remote exactly? Employee: Uhhmmm… I was trying to fix it! Shigeru Miyamoto: Why? The dream of bringing video game characters to life and having them compete for whatever is far-fetched! We tried already, just let it go… Employee: Okay, sir… Shigeru Miyamoto: Now get out. Employee: Okay sir… ''The employee exits as Shigeru Miyamoto is about to leave and looks at the remote. He runs to it, grabs it, and smashes it on the ground. Electric sparks fly from the monitors as they all light up. '' '' '' Shigeru Miyamoto: What in the- ''The Nintendo Building is shown from the outside as there is a small explosion in the same room that Shigeru Miyamoto is in. The camera shows Shigeru Miyamoto coughing and stumbling back to his feet. '' '' '' Shigeru Miyamoto: What the- how? ''24 characters are standing in front of Miyamoto. '' '' '' Shigeru Miyamoto: The Nintendo characters! THEY’RE ALL- What the? Shulk, Chun-Li, other people that I don’t know? Shulk: I predicted this would happen. Shigeru Miyamoto: Huh… wait a second… *to self* this is great! I can have them do challenges against each other and what not! *clears throat and turns to the characters* Welcome! To-uh… Total Drama video Games! Chun-Li: I’m sorry? Shigeru Miyamoto: It’s a show were video game characters compete for… for… Travis Touchdown: Hey gramps, fucking make up your mind on what’s supposed to happen! Shigeru Miyamoto: You win money or something, I dunno. So, uh, who exactly is here? Pit, Freddy Fazbear, Kratos, Vergil, Bayonetta, Wesker, Travis Touchdown, Lucina, Mai Shiranui, Phoenix Wright, Chun-Li, Illidan Stormrage, Shulk, Leon Kennedy, Samus Aran, Chell, Talim, Edge Geraldine, Captain Falcon, Zoey, Alex Mercer, Cole MacGrath, The Heavy, Kitana? Phoenix Wright: The facts add up, that’s who’s here… Illidan Stormrage: Where am I exactly? I was hunting demons in- Pit: Lady Palutena? Where are you? Edge Geraldine: Where’s my Rydia? Cole MacGrath: MERCER?! Alex Mercer: MACGRATH?! The Heavy: DOCTOR! Shigeru Miyamoto: This was a HUGE mistake… Talim: Umm… it’s actually a good idea… Shigeru Miyamoto: Huh? Talim: Well you brought us to life and having us compete for money is… a good idea, not a mistake, a good idea! Freddy Fazbear: Wh-wha-wh-wha a-a-a-a-a mo-mor-moro-moron! Talim: I don’t understand what you just said… '''Freddy Fazbear: I’m a-a-a-a sensa-a-a-ation amo-gn-gn-gnst kids-kids-kids-kids! Bu-bu-but this girl-girl is ju-just mo-mo-moronic! ' ' ' Mai Shiranui: I agree. Travis Touchdown: I also agree with sweetcheeks here. Shigeru Miyamoto: Well, uh, I, uh, I have teams to list off and the first challenge, maybe? Samus Aran: Uhh, maybe? You didn’t think this through before you, ya know, brought us into the real world? Shigeru Miyamoto: goddamnit, I told you all, I didn’t think this would happen! ANYWAYS! Team 8-Bit: Pit, Freddy Fazbear, Kratos, Vergil, Bayonetta, Wesker, Travis Touchdown, Lucina, Mai Shiranui, Phoenix Wright, Chun-Li, Illidan Stormrage! Bayonetta: You better help us up to the top, sweeties… Vergil: I could carry this team on my own. Don’t call me “sweetie” either. Bayonetta: Okay, sweetie. Vergil: Grr… 'Vergil: She’s just going to be here to annoy everyone! Especially me! She’s like… a female Dante! ' ' ' 'Bayonetta: I’ve heard about that fact I’m sort of a female Dante which is Sweetie’s brother. He hates his brother. ' ' ' Lucina: *Keeps glancing at Vergil* Vergil: Anything wrong-er-Lucina, is it? Lucina: Yes and no, I mean, I’m Lucina, there’s nothing wrong *laughs nervously* 'Lucina: Awww… ' ' ' 'Bayonetta: Looks like Sweetie has someone going for him. ' ' ' Pit: I-I don’t really like this team, can I switch to the other? Shigeru Miyamoto: Why, Pit? Pit: Well, um, there’s, um… Wesker: Spit-uh-it out. Seriously, what don’t you like? Pit: Well in the failed attempt of this Kratos had a serious problem with is angry… Shigeru Miyamoto: What past attempt- nevermind, I don’t think Kratos is angry… Kratos: *grunts* Shigeru Miyamoto: When I was planning to bring characters to life, I saw Kratos and I had to change him. So know he’s stupid, muscle for brains, and will not attack unless insulted or what ever- ''A fist comes flying out of no where and punches Shigeru Miyamoto, who flies through the wall into the next room. Kratos starts lumbering over to Miyamoto. '' '' '' Kratos: YOU NO MEAN! ''Kratos pulls his hand back again to punch Shigeru Miyamoto. '' '' '' Shigeru Miyamoto: Goodbye, world… Captain Falcon: FALCON PUNCH! ''Kratos is punched in the face by a flaming fist. He falls to the ground, unconscious. '' '' '' Captain Falcon: You can thank me later. Shigeru Miyamoto: Okay, anyways, Team Pixel: Shulk, Leon Kennedy, Samus Aran, Chell, Talim, Edge Geraldine, Captain Falcon, Zoey, Alex Mercer, Cole MacGrath, The Heavy, Kitana! Shulk: I predicted this. Chell: Yeah, of course, did you “predict” it when the first team was called off? Shulk: No- Alex Mercer: SUCK A DICK, MACGRATH! Cole MacGrath: How about you suck the dick of the angry black guy that was looking for his daughter? Chell: This is going to be a very… interesting… Edge Geraldine: Hey, ladies, I’m single. Zoey: Ugh, boomer… Edge Geraldine: What? Zoey: Sorry, I meant pig. Edge Geraldine: Uh-huh Shigeru Miyamoto: Now, uh, employee! Employee: Yes, sir? Shigeru Miyamoto: Get two apartment complexes for our contestants, they will be put through the first challenge now! ''The camera cuts to Shigeru Miyamoto pointing a remote at the contestants. '' '' '' The Heavy: WHAT NOW, DOCTOR? Shulk: We’re going to fight in a clearing. Shigeru Miyamoto: Exactly. ''Shigeru Miyamoto presses a button and the contestants are sent into a clearing. Both teams are on both sides of each other. '' '' '' Shigeru Miyamoto: 1. 2. 3 testing! All systems online! You will fight as a team against the other team. Last team standing will win! ''The two teams stand on opposite sides and face each other. Shigeru Miyamoto blares an alarm and the two teams run at each other. '' '' '' ''The Heavy is up front shooting at people. He keeps on getting shot by Wesker. '' '' '' The Heavy: DOCTOR! I NEED TO BE HEALED! DOCT- oof! ''The Heavy is punched in the stomach by Kratos. '' '' '' Kratos: We win! ''Kratos continues to wail on the unconscious Heavy as Chell shoots a portal into him, sending him flying. She puts a portal on the ground where he is about to land and puts another on the tree. Kratos falls through and launches back towards Chell with his swords raised but he is uppercutted by Captain Falcon. '' '' '' Kratos: Uhh… Chell: Thanks. Captain Falcon: You’re wel- ''Alex Mercer and Cole MacGrath comes out of no where fighting each other. Alex Mercer gets pushed over to Captain Falcon and they both fall. Cole MacGrath zaps at Alex Mercer but Alex Mercer rolls out of the way, instead zapping Captain Falcon. Alex Mercer attempts to punch Cole MacGrath but Cole MacGrath dodges out of the way, causing Alex Mercer to hit Chell instead. '' '' '' Shulk: Guys, if we keep this up I see in the future we will win! Edge Geraldine: Save the prediction bullcrap, we need to focus on something… ''Pit flies towards the two in the Three Sacred Treasures. Edge chops off one of the wings and Pit falls down. '' '' '' Edge Geraldine: He’s gone now… ''Edge spots Freddy Fazbear on the other side of the field. He has Talim picked up by the throat when he’s about to throw her down and crush her. In his other hand is a suit. '' '' '' Edge Geraldine: TALIM! Shulk: Huh? ''Edge runs through the fighting to Talim. He kicks the suit away from Freddy Fazbear and stabs his swords into his arm holding Talim, cutting it off. Freddy Fazbear looks at it and laughs. '' '' '' Freddy Fazbear: You shouldn’t have done that… ''Freddy throws Talim out of the way and then picks up Edge Geraldine and throws him in to Leon Kennedy. '' '' '' Shulk: Oi, big bear! ''Shulk cuts off Freddy fazbear’s other arm and then kicks him to the ground. '' '' '' Shulk: Ha-oof! ''Travis Touchdown curb stomps the back of Shulk’s knees, causing Shulk to fall to his knees. Travis touchdown then roundhouse kicks Shulk into the jaw, causing Shulk to slump over. '' '' '' Travis Touchdown: Hey, fuckface! Didn't see that one coming, didya'? Shigeru Miyamoto: Let’s see! For team 8-Bit, the people left standing are Vergil, Bayonetta, Wesker, Travis Touchdown, Lucina, Mai Shiranui, Phoenix Wright, Chun-Li, and Illidan Stormrage! And for Team Pixel, the people left standing are Samus Aran, Talim, Edge Geraldine, Zoey, Alex Mercer Cole MacGrath, and Kitana! Samus Aran: TEAM PIXEL! REGROUP BACK AT THE WEST END OF THE FIELD! ''Edge Geraldine, Samus Aran, Talim, Kitana, and Zoey are all shown running towards the west end of the field. Alex Mercer and Cole MacGrath are shown fighting in the background, where Mai Shiranui and Wesker are shown in the crossheirs of their fighting. The five get to the west end of the field as the other team turns to face Alex Mercer and Cole MacGrath. '' '' '' Zoey: What’s the plan? Samus Aran: Mercer and MacGrath are buying us time by being moving targets attacking each other. We would have to move out and attack them while they’re distracted. Kitana: Alright. Let’s go! ''The four start back across the field. Edge Geraldine suddenly stops. '' '' '' Edge Geraldine: Stop, there’s something wrong. Talim: What? Edge Geraldine: We’re being followed… ''Illidan Stormrage jumps out of the shadows at Zoey. Edge Geraldine jumps into the way and blocks the attack with his swords. '' '' '' Illidan Stormrage: BOW DOWN, MORTAL! Edge Geraldine: Run, I’ll hold him off! Samus Aran: Edge- Edge Geraldine: Just go! Samus Aran: Uh- alright, let’s go! '' '' ''The four girls run away as Illidan Stormrae and Edge Geraldine duke it out. Illidan Stormrage slashes and hacks at Edge Geraldine, eventually cutting through Edge Geraldine’s swords. '' '' '' Illidan Stormrage: I said bow down! Edge Geraldine: NEVER! '' '' ''Edge Geraldine slices at Illidan Stormrage’s thighs, causing him to fall the ground. Edge Geraldine runs to the four, who have started attacking the other team. '' '' '' Chun-Li: Get off of me, bitch! Kitana: No, you get off of ME! ''Kitana and Chun-Li start to punch at each other, eventually, Kitana falls down. Chun-Li is kicked in the face by Bayonetta accidentally. '' '' '' Shigeru Miyamoto: The remaining people on Team 8-Bit are Vergil, Bayonetta, Travis Touchdown, Lucina, and Phoenix Wright! For Team Pixel, the remaining people are Samus Aran, Talim, Edge Geraldine, Zoey, Alex Mercer, and Cole MacGrath! ''Travis Touchdown and Talim run at each other but stop and stare at each other. After a while, Bayonetta kicks Talim in the face and Edge Geraldine elbows Travis Touchdown in the stomach before Vergil round house kicks Edge Geraldine in the face. '' '' '' Vergil: Pathetic- ''Cole MacGrath zaps Vergil as Alex Mercer jumps out of the way. Alex Mercer swings at Cole MacGrath and misses again but this time to hit Bayonetta. Lucina backs away as Samus Aran points her gun at Lucina. She fires but Phoenix Wright jumps in the way with a metal briefcase that reflects the laser beam, causing it to bounce back and knock down Samus Aran. '' '' '' Phoenix Wright: Take that! ''Zoey runs up to the two and she begins to fire at Lucina, who falls over. Phoenix wright throws his briefcase and it hits Zoey in the head, knocking her out. '' '' '' Phoenix Wright: Lucina! ''Vergil opens his eyes and looks at Phoenix Wright leaning over Lucina, who has blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. Vergil’s eyes close yet again. Alex Mercer and Cole Macgrath land right in front of Phoenix wright, still fighting. Phoenix Wright looks at them and stands up. '' '' '' Phoenix Wright: OBJECTION! ''Alex Mercer and Cole MacGrath stop and they both look at Phoenix Wright. The setting changes to a court room and the two are standing at the accusation stand. '' '' '' Phoenix Wright: You’re honor, these two are guilty of attacking their own team members! They have done nothing but fight each other and not contributing to anything! Alex Mercer: Wha- The Judge: Hmm… I see… let’s let the jury reach a verdict. Cole MacGrath: What? The Judge: The jury finds Alex Mercer and Cole Macgrath… GUILTY! AM&CMacG: I’m sorry- ''A giant hammer swings at launches Cole MacGrath and Alex Mercer into a tree, knocking them out. '' '' '' Shigeru Miyamoto: In an unexpected turn of events, Phoenix Wright wins it for his team! Phoenix Wright: WOOO- what about everyone else? Shigeru Miyamoto: Well, scanning you all, I’ve discovered you’re all human now or oyu can actually get killed so… I called a couple dozen ambulances. Phenix Wright: Well for now, teleport us all out! Shigeru Miyamoto: Alright! ''There is a bright flash of light as the camera cuts to the game room where Miyamoto is holding pieces of paper that read votes. '' '' '' Shigeru Miyamoto: Alright, so Team Pixel, you’ve all voted yes? Team Pixel: Yes. Shigeru Miyamoto: Okay, so Shulk, Leon Kennedy, Samus Aran, Chell, Talim, Edge Geraldine, Captain Falcon, Zoey, The Heavy, and Kitana are safe. Alex Mercer: You’re going to die here, MacGrath! Cole MacGrath: Am I, now? Shigeru Miyamoto: Alex Mercer and Cole MacGrath, you both are in trouble for the same reason, you fought each other and even defeated some of your own team members. But the person going home is! ALEX MERCER! Alex Mercer: What?! Cole Macgrath: SUCK IT! Alex Mercer: I WILL NOT- ''Alex Mercer is pulled into one of the monitors. '' '' '' Shigeru Miyamoto: There we go! It worked! Leon Kennedy: What was that?! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well, we pulled him back into the system! In the final he will be pulled back out to watch the final two compete! Pit: WOAH! As the failed version of this series said: That CANNOT happen to me! Shulk: The final two is- Shigeru Miyamoto: And that wraps it up for the first episode! With Team Pixel losing the first challenge and Alex Mercer gone, will a lot of problems be out of the way? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Video Games! Go to your apartments, everyone. Shulk: THE FINAL TWO IS- ''The camera cuts to static quickly as Shulk cannot be heard. 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